Fix me?
by BeautyIsEverywhere
Summary: When Callie runs away, Jude blames himself. The Foster family get's terrible news and Jude can't help but feel he's to blame. Can Connor save him from the one thing that'll hurt him the most- himself?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I feel sort of icky with Jude being like, 12. So, I'm making him fourteen, and Connor 15. **

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**Jude's POV:**  
I liked the Foster's Home more than I had ever liked any other Foster Home. Well.. I had really liked living with Liam and his family, but after he hurt Callie, I didn't enjoy it as much as I originally had. But I loved the Foster's. I loved watching Lena and Stef being happy and smiling at each other, I like to think my Mom and Dad had once looked at each other that way. Mariana's constant chatter and smiles and Jesus's jokes were something I enjoyed when I first came here, and I loved the comfort they brought me now. Listening to Brandon playing soft, beautiful melodies on his keyboard was something I had come to love to. And I loved how much he cared about Callie, who definitely deserved it.

Callie. Callie, who was the most selfless, flawless person I knew who I'd called selfish and hurt. Callie, who loved me more than anybody in this world could ever. And I hurt her. The simple thought of hurting my big sister disgusts me, and I hate myself for saying such... terrible, terrible, things to her. She deserved to be loved, to be happy, and if it was with Brandon, who was I to take that away from her? I sigh, horribly disappointed with myself, before shuffling over to the closet and pull on a pair of jeans and a dark red t-shirt.

As I leave mine and Jesus's room, I glance at the alarm clock-_9:53_- and decide Callie is probably downstairs. I drowsily bump into the wall as I clamber down the steps and into the kitchen where I find a crying Mariana, a hysterical Lena who has tears falling, a rigid and tense Stef, a... blank looking Jesus, and Brandon, who has his face buried into his hands, his body shaking with sobs. I can't help but be confused, what could possibly be wrong this early in the morning? Is it Lena's parents? Or Stef's And where's Callie at?

"You guys? What.. what's wrong? Where's Callie at?" I frown, as I take small steps into the kitchen. Lena, Brandon, and Mariana sob harder at the mention of my older sister.

"What..what's going on? Where's Callie?!" I hear the panic in my voice as it rises higher and higher.

Stef takes slow, short, steps until she's right in front of me and crouches down to my level, "Jude? Sweetheart... Callie.. Callie's left."

I take a step back from the older woman, "What? What are you talking about! Callie would never leave me! Why are you guys lying to me! Was this Jesus's idea!? It isn't funny you guys!" I snarl, as furious tears gather in my eyes.

"Jude," Lena sobs, as she walks towards me, her voice breaking.

"Lena? Where's Callie!? I don't like this joke anymore! Stop it! Callie!? Callie? Come out now! This isn't funny! I'm not mad at you anymore, please.. please." I sob, as Lena wraps her arms around me, and brings me closer to her.

"Jude, baby, Callie left. She... she called earlier on a payphone. She said you two had gotten into an argument, and she didn't want to ruin you getting to stay here. We're gonna find her though Jude. I promise." Lena whispers softly, as she pulls me to her.

I sniffle, "Stef... If Callie doesn't want to be found, then... then she won't be." I sob softly.

Stef and Lena had called Mike, Stewart and Dana, and Sharon, and we spent all day looking for her. Well, everyone but Lena, Mariana and I. I think Lena thought we were to distraught to really be much of a help, and she's right. All we did was cry, the entire time they were all gone.

"Lena... We didn't find her... We're gonna have to file a report." I hear Stef whisper to Lena quietly. They probably think I'm asleep or to lost in my own thoughts to really understand. I wish I was.

"Stef... What if she's hurt? My God, I don't know what I'll do if something happens to her, Stef. I really don't."

"She's gonna be okay, Darling."" Stef whispers softly.

"You don't know that." Lena whimpers.

Stef sighs, and yells for Brandon, Mariana, and Jesus to come on down. Mariana's eye are bloodshot and puffy, Brandon looks so broken, Jesus's eyes are puffy and red as well. I wonder if I look just as bad as they do? I wonder if Callie looks okay. If she's hurt. If she's crying. If she's scared?

"Okay, my babies, since there's no sign of Callie here, we're going to have to file a missing person's report. We aren't even sure she's in California anymore... I know you guys don't want to go to school tomorrow, but I think it'd be best if you did. Routine is going to be good for you. I promise. And I promise we will get Callie back, okay? But, right now, we have to focus on you guys to. So, how about pizza for dinner?" She forces a fake smile.

There are murmurs of agreement, but no one really cares honestly. We all just want Callie home. Back here and safe. She needs to be here with us, this is where she belongs. If anyone should have left it's me. I shouldn't of treated her so awfully. Callie deserved a home more than I did. She sacrificed so much for me, and I couldn't sacrifice this one little thing so she could be happy? It's my fault she's gone. I don't deserve to have a home.

I just stare blankly at the wall for a few minutes before deciding to go upstairs to Callie and Mariana's room. I inspect her half of the room and under her lamp, I notice a folded up piece of paper. A note. For me.

_Jude-_  
_I'm so sorry. So so unbelievably sorry that I might have screwed up everything for us. I promised I wouldn't be selfish anymore. And leaving you, is the most selfless thing I've ever done. Don't worry okay? It's going to be alright. You're safe here. I love you Jude._  
_-Callie._

I tuck the note in my pocket, before walking down stairs to eat. And when that's done, I run up, and curl up in Callie's bed. Seeking her comfort and finding none.

**The Next Day:**  
I hated school before. But without Callie here? It made it even worse. I avoided Connor, and I think he noticed. But he had other friends besides me. Friends that weren't total screw ups who are the reason their sister, the one person they love most in the world, is gone. After our last class of the day, he tried to approach me at my locker, but I just slammed the door and walked away.

This is for the best. If Connor stays away, he'll never be hurt. And Connor doesn't deserve to be hurt. Besides Jude, he was only your friend because he pities you. I shake the thoughts away, and bite back tears as I begin the short journey home. I miss Callie so much. I hope she's okay. That she's safe wherever she is.

"Jude? Hi honey." I hear Stef's soft voice as I walk into the kitchen.

"Hi. Any news?" I mumble quietly, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.

"Well we found out she was with Wyatt. But... she made him stop at some diner in Kansas. We're doing everything we can to find her Jude." She mumbles as she walks over to where I am and pulls me into a hug.

I sigh, and nod my head, before going in and sitting at the counter and starting my homework. Twenty minutes into it, when the phone rings, and Stef swiftly picks it up and answers. "Hello?"

"Oh, Hi Connor." I frown and begin to shake my head furiously. "He's making it really hard to keep him safe."

"You wanna talk to Jude?" I shake my head and start flailing my arms around, indicating that no, I do not want to talk to him.

"I'm sorry hun, but, Jude wasn't feeling well when he got home and went up to sleep. He's worrying himself sick over Callie."

"Oh, you mean he didn't tell you?" She frowns at me.

"Um, Callie has run off, actually. We believe she's in Kansas but we aren't sure. But don't worry Connor, I'll tell Jude you called when he wakes up, okay?" She says charmingly, before hanging up.

"Jude? Why didn't you tell Connor about Callie running away? He really cares about you. And why aren't you speaking to him?" She gives me a disappointed look.

"Because... because.. It's my fault Callie's gone. I called her selfish and said she didn't love me! I'm a terrible person Stef! And I hurt Callie, so I'll probably end up hurting Connor too!" I sob quietly.

She sighs, before hugging me again, "I'll be okay. Finish your homework, yes?"

I sniffle, and nod. Quickly finishing my homework faster than I ever had before. I trudge up the steps and go take a nap. only coming down when called for dinner, eat a couple of bites, learn Connor's called three more times, then go back up. Hoping and praying Callie will come home safe to us.

**Three Weeks Later:**  
It's been three weeks since Callie left. Three weeks since we found out anything about her. Three weeks since I spoke to Connor. Three weeks since I felt normal. Connor had given up trying to approach me at lunch and in classes. I sat in the very back corner of the room during every class I had, and I skipped lunch, hiding out in Lena's office, or abandoned classrooms. He called every day though. Ranging from four to six times a day, maybe more, depending on what day it was. He never came over though, to force me to talk to him. Personally, I think that would work better, I'd be less likely to ignore him then.

I sigh, open my locker door, grab some of the things I'll need for the weekend, and wait for Jesus. I try not to notice Connor and his "friends" standing off on the other side. His "friends" were the popular kids who had taken to teasing and making fun of me. But he defended me when he was with them. Connor was to nice for his own good. I try to ignore the feeling of his eyes on me, hoping I'd look up and smile and apologize for keeping my distance, maybe?

He doesn't understand it now, but this is for the best. I'm protecting him, just like Callie used to protect me. Ya know, before she abandoned me. Left me here with people we had only known for a couple of months,people who didn't know my favorite color was blue, that I loved chocolate cupcakes, that I hated green beans but I'd eat them because our very first foster home would throw a fit if you didn't eat everything on your plate. That I loved Batman, or that when I grew up, I wanted to be a teacher. And a foster parent, but one of the good kinds, the kind my foster children wouldn't be afraid of.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts by Jesus, who has a grim look on his normally excited face."Hey Jude. You ready?" Even his tone is sad.

"Uh huh. Are you okay?" I frown as we begin our journey home.

He sighs, a sad look on his face, "Lexi broke up with me. She isn't even coming back to the states."

"I'm sorry Jesus. I know you really liked her."

"I... I.. With me and Lex it was purely physical. We barely knew anything about each other. But I did care about her."

"I know. Just because it was only physical doesn't have to make it any less of a relationship," I comment quietly.

He smiles a little, reaches over, and ruffles my hair, "So have you talked to that Connor kid?"

"No."

"And why's that?"

I let out an exasperated sigh, "I'm keeping him safe Jesus. It's better for him this way."

He holds up his hands in surrender, "Hey man, whatever you say."

I sigh, and we walk home in silence. When we get there, I head straight to the kitchen, grabbing my Algebra Text Book, and starting. Now that I was a social pariah, I was beginning to pay more attention in school. I was actually doing pretty good. About thirty minutes later I had that finished, and brought out my notebook to begin my six page english essay. I finish that with in a half an hour. "Finished?" Lena smiles gently.

I nod and shove my things in my bag, but instead of turning and trudging up the stairs, walk into the family room, where Mariana has her feet propped up against Jesus's lap, and her head's leaning on Brandon's shoulder. "Hey Jude. Come on in," Jesus smiles and cocks his head in the direction of the chair beside him.

I smile and walk quickly towards the chair before sitting down, "So what are we watching?" I smile a little.

"_Spongbob!_" Jesus cheers.

"Seriously Jesus, what are you, five?" Mariana teases. Brandon smiles a little but doesn;t comment.

And for about an hour and a half, everything feels normal. Like Callie's just upstairs writing in her journal or playing her guitar. Like Brandon isn't totally heart broken. Like I'm not absolutely terrified. Almost like our family isn't torn apart. We're beginning our fourth episode of _Spongebob_ when the doorbell and phone rings, Lena darts to the door, and Stef grabs the phone and jogs up the steps. Weird, normally she just takes her calls down here. "Jude? You have a visitor." Lena gives me a gentle smile.

I sigh, my shoulders sag, and I begrudgingly walk out to the porch, where I see Connor sitting on the swing, staring at his hands. "Hi." He mumbles when I sit down beside of him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask the taller boy in an emotionless voice.

"I miss you. Why are you ignoring me?" He doesn't sound... angry. Just hurt. And confused.

"Because you're better off without me."

"Why would you even say that!"

"Because it's the truth."

"Jude! You're amazing!" He glares.

"I'm the reason Callie left, Connor. She and I got into a fight because she kissed Brandon. And there are strict rules about that. Foster siblings can not have those types of relationships. Stef and Lena could have gotten rid of us for that. I told her she was selfish and that she didn't love me, that... that s- she on- only cares about herself. Then she... she left me! It's al-.. all my fault she's gone! I hurt her, Connor! And it... it's just a matter of t-... time before I hurt yo... you too." I sob.

I hear him sigh softly, as he wraps his arms around me, "Jude. It's not your fault, okay? Callie left because she thought she was doing the right thing. You didn't pack her bags and tell her to leave. Jude, I'm not letting you push me away."

"I'm not good for you Connor! I hurt Callie, and I loved her more than anything! I care about the Fosters, and look, I've hurt them because I'm the reason Callie left! And I care about you too! So I'll end up hurting you too!" I sniffle.

He sighs, "I'm not leaving you Jude." He states firmly.

"O.. Okay." I sob softly.

"Jude? We... we need to talk. Connor, you can come to I guess. Jude's probably gonna want a friend after this." I hear Stef say quietly, and when I look up there are tears on her face. I frown, but grab Connor's hand, dragging him in with me as I follow Stef like a little lost puppy.

"Mom? What's wrong?" Brandon frowns, and he, Mariana, and Jesus all sit up, alert and afraid.

Lena's thin body is shaking with violent sobs, and Stef wraps her arms around her, a broken hearted look on her face. "You guys... that was the Kansas Police on the phone... they um.. they found a body today... They... They think it's Callie." Stef whispers as tears stream down her face.

"What do you mean they think!" Brandon snarls.

"They.. they have to match the DNA, but the description fits. Same height and weight apparently too..." Stef let's out a strangled sob at the end.

"Jude?" Lena whispers softly.

"I can't... I... No. No. No! I can't do this!"I let out a strangled sob, before darting off upstairs to the safety of mine and Jesus's room.

I hear footsteps behind me. And I know it's Connor. Almost immediately after I slammed the door, I hear him open it. "Jude?" He whispers.

"Connor?" I sob softly, my face buried into the pillow.

I feel my bed dip just a little, and he lays down beside me, "Jude? Look at me?"

I let out a soft sob, before reaching out and he brings me closer to him, "It's okay Jude. It's alright," He coos gently.

"She can't be dead Connor! She can't be! She's the only one that loves me!" I sob.

"Ssh... ssh... It's okay," He whispers softly over and over again, drawing circles on my back, lulling me to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Jude's POV:  
When I woke up two hours later, Connor was gone. "See? He only pities you. He left the first chance he got, just like Callie did. Just like the Fosters will. Maybe you should do the world a favor, and leave too."I sigh and rub the exhaustion from my eyes, before slipping out of bed, take a quick look at the clock, _-7:15-_ and make my way down the stairs. The living room is empty, as is the kitchen. Maybe the Foster's left me too? I wouldn't blame them really. I'm the reason Callie might be dead. I'm despicable. "Jude? Hi Honey." I hear Lena's soft voice, as she comes in from the back yard.

"Hi." I murmur, looking down at my shoes. I can't see her tear stained face.

"Connor's here too. He's gonna stay tonight, we figured you wouldn't want to be alone." She says softly, making her way towards me.

I step farther away from her, "Oh. Why's everyone outside?"

She smiles softly, "Well, we didn't want to disturb you. We ordered pizza again and we're eating out back." She ruffles my hair, and grabs a pitcher of tea.

"Oh, here, I've got the door." I mumble quietly, she gives a forced laugh and thanks me. _'Why are you thanking me? I'm the reason Callie's gone.."_

I sigh, but follow her out. I see Mariana, who looks calmer than she had, with a small smile on her face, leaning against Brandon, as they watch Jesus and Connor, while they sit under the giant tree in the back yard. Jesus and Connor are throwing a football around, small smiles on their faces. Stef is sitting at the table, chin in her hands, a thoughtful look on her face. "Is the pizza here yet?"She smiles at Lena.

"Not yet, I'd give it another ten minutes." Lena sighs, as she sits down beside Stef.

"Hi Sweetheart, how are you? Come sit." Stef says, a small smile on her face.

I take the chair that is the farthest from them, "I'm fine. It's not like it's definitely Callie. They said it was a possibility."

They give me small smiles and Lena lays her head on Stef's shoulder, as Stef whispers quietly in her ear. I sigh and slouch in my chair, watching Jesus and Connor joking around. _'They should be the ones hanging out. They have so much more in common than they do with me..'_ Shaking the thoughts from my head, I give Stef and Lena a fake smile, tell them I'm going upstairs for a minute, that I'll be right down. I walk up to Callie and Mariana's room, and go to the bookcase, that had been mostly empty before Callie and I came here. Looking through the books I find _'How To Kill A Mockingbird'_ which is one of Callie's favorites. With a small smile on my face, I grab the book and make my way downstairs just as the doorbell rings and Lena comes running inside."Go on out, okay Jude?"

I nod my head and walk out, clutching my book tightly to my chest. Connor and Jesus are sitting beside each other, joking. Brandon has a faint smile on his face, Mariana is giggling, Stef is smiling brightly, and Lena is coming out carrying pizza boxes. I take the empty seat between Mariana and Stef. Everyone's talking, laughing, smiling. And it infuriates me, there's a possibility Callie could be dead, and if she isn't then she's out all alone and scared, she could be hurt, and they're sitting here having fun? Why should anybody be having fun when Callie could be out there somewhere. I frown and clutch my book even tighter  
to me. "Jude? Aren't you hungry?"

_I don't deserve food._ Not when Callie could be out there, alone and starving. I shake my head, my eyes focused on the table. _'Don't look at them Jude. You don't deserve sympathy. You're the reason Callie left.'_ Stef lets out a sigh, grabbing a plate, and putting a piece of cheese pizza down on it before putting it in front of me. "Eat. You might not think you're hungry but you haven't eaten since lunch."

I let out a soft sigh,but nod, laying my book in my lap, and taking small bites. Everyone tries to include me in conversations, but after a few short words, they leave me be. Once I finish half of my piece, I stop and lool at my lap for the rest of dinner. "May I be excused?" I ask quietly after everythings been cleaned up.

Lena frowns, just a little, "You sure? We were gonna watch movies!" She smiles.

"Oh.. Okay, I guess."

She gives me a bright smile, obviously pleased. I follow her into the living room and take the only open seat beside Connor. "Hi.." He says quietly.

"...Hi." I smile.

He slings an arm around my shoulder, scooting closer to me, as Stef comes in, looking at the two movies in her hands, "So should we watch _Abduction_ or _Madea's Witness Protection Program_?"

"Ooh! Let's go with Abduction first, and then we can watch the other one!" Lena smiles and every one else murmurs in agreement.

Stef laughs, and puts the movie in, then she and Lena run in to grab the bowls of popcorn before handing them out. As much as I want to be upset that we're sitting in the nice warm house, safe and sound, while Callie could be out there hurt, I'm thankful they're trying to make things as normal as possible. It sorta makes me feel like things are all going to be okay, even if they really aren't. During the middle of Madea's Witness Protection Program the phone rings. "Who would be calling at 11:30?" Lena frowns as Stef runs off to answer the phone.

I yawn a little, and let my head fall back onto Connor's shoulder, feeling safe for the first time since Callie ran off. "Hey Jude, I'm gonna bunk with Mariana tonight, so it'll just be you and Connor, okay?"

I nod my head, not really paying a lot of attention. "Guys... We need to talk." I hear Stef say quietly.

Lena pauses the movie, and everyone except for me and Connor sit up, alert and confused. "Whats wrong?" I mumble.

"That was the Kansas Police Station... the DNA didn't match Callie's... But there was a blood stain that matched hers.. They believe she's been kidnapped.." Stef whispers softly.

"Are they going to find her?" Mariana asks, as she tears up.

"I hope so.. I really really hope so." Stef says softly, wrapping her arms around a silently crying Lena.

My sister, my Callie,who is the strongest, bravest person I know, was kidnapped. Taken. I break away from Connor's embrace, walking numbly up the stairs to mine and Jesus's room. I find a pair of pajamas, hand Connor, who followed me up here, another pair. "I'm gonna go change and brush my teeth." I mumble as I walk past him. I feel empty. _She could end up dead like that girl._ That's all I can think about as I change and get ready for bed. _'And I never even got to apologize_,' I think bitterly.

"Jude? Connor says softly as he comes in from getting ready.

"It's my fault she was kidnapped."

"No it's not," He says softly as he lays down beside me on my bed.

"What if she dies? What if that guy kills her like he did the other girl?" I whimper.

He sighs, and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer,"From what you've told me Callie is a really strong person, she's gonna be okay Jude. I promise."

"Everyone leaves me, Connor. My parents left me. All my other foster families have gotten rid of us. And now Callie's gone," I squeak out, hiding my face in his side.

"It's gonna be okay Jude. I'm not gonna leave you. And the Fosters aren't going to either." He says softly, gently rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"Do you promise?" I mumble.

He laughs softly, "I promise." And with that I drift off to sleep.

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**A/N:Please Review. (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jude's POV:**  
The next morning I woke up alone. Connor was snuggled up in Jesus's bed, lightly snoring. I smiled just a little, because this would probably be the most normal thing to happen today. After rummaging around in my closet for a few minutes I decided on a pair of dark blue jeans, and a dark gray short sleeved t- shirt. I grabbed the clothes and some underclothing, before dashing to the bathroom, thankful to be the only one up. After I had taken a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed, etc, etc. I had quietly went back into my room, grabbed my book, before going downstairs. Most people hated be the only one up, but I actually enjoyed it. Not that I didn't love living here, I did, but there was always someone there. You never really had any peace, never quite able to find a minute for yourself.

Sighing, I looked at the clock,-_7:25_- so I had about two hours for myself. Maybe I'd make breakfast for everyone... Cooking was one of the few chores I truly enjoyed. At our last foster home, it was normally Callie who cooked. I think she liked the normality of it personally. And when she had left, it became my job. It was something I really did enjoy doing, it made me feel... normal. Cooking was something every kid had done. Not just kids with real homes.

Deciding I'd read for a bit before making breakfast, I shuffled quietly into the living room, opening to the page I'd last been on. Soon it was it 8:15, and I recalled Stef telling Lena she'd be going in around 10 or 10:30, so they'd be getting up soon.

I dog eared the page I'd been on, then quietly made my way into the kitchen. Stef liked pancakes when she was stressed, Lena loved eggs, and if we had pancakes Jesus only ate chocolate chip pancakes, Mariana had a thing for bacon, and Brandon was a fan of sausage. I had no clue what Connor liked, so I'd just have to hope he enjoyed what I'd make. Grabbing the eggs, I tried to remember who normally ate them, Lena (of course); Stef would have just a little; Jesus pointedly ignored them, in fact he once told me he'd rather eat a live worm than eggs; Mariana would have some, Brandon would eat them if someone put them on his plate, and I recall Connor once saying he liked them. So four would be sufficient, right? I nodded to myself, before walking over to find the pancake mix in the pantry.

I read the instructions before going in search of the ingredients. After I had that mixed them and made sure exleast four or five had chocolate chips in them and had them on the portable griddle/ stove, whatever you wanted to call it, I found a couple of skillets. I venture over to the refrigerator, pulling out a thawed out pack of bacon and sausage.

I made sure butter was in the skillet before pouring the eggs in, put the bacon in the microwave for an appropriate amount of time, and that the sausages were going fine, before going back to the pancakes. After deeming them edible, I found some paper plates to put them on. Then soon enough the microwave was signaling that the bacon was done, then I decided the sausage and eggs were as well.

It was around nine thirty, and just as I had put the skillet's and such in the sink, poured my self a bowl of cereal, and had started the coffee when I saw Stef coming down the stairs, Lena and Brandon in tow. "Jude?" I heard her ask, obviously startled.

"Good morning. I made breakfast. As soon as I'm done my cereal I'll start the dishes."

"Oh, baby, thank you." Stef says, looking at the food in shock.

"Jude... You did all this?" I hear Lena whisper, eyes wide. What, am I not supposed to use the stove?

"Uh huh. I got up around seven thirty. And I read until about eight fifteen, then I started cooking." I shrug, before going back to my _Fruity Pebbles._

"Jude! That's so thoughtful! Brandon, why don't you go get everyone up?"

"Yeah sure thing." He smiles, before turning up stairs to get the others.

"Jude, don't you want any of the stuff you cooked?" Stef frowns, as she grabs two coffee mugs.

"Not really. I'm fine with my cereal. But the past couple of days have been stressful on everybody, and I wanted to do something nice."

Lena laughs softly, pecking my forehead gently, "You are so sweet. He's my new favorite." She smiles, winking at Stef.

"It's no big deal. At my last foster home, when Callie got sent away, I was in charge of making the food." I shrug.

"Orange, apple, or grape juice? Or milk?" Stef smiles as she plants a cup in front of me.

"Grape please."

It's silent for a few minutes as Lena and Stef start making plates for everyone, until the twins come in grumbling, with Brandon and Connor in tow. "Ooh! Chocolate chip pancakes!" Jesus squeals, wrapping his arms around Lena. "Mother, I love you."

Lena snorts, an amused smile on her face, "I didn't make it. Jude did."

"And he is an excellent little cook. We might have to kick Lena off of kitchen duty." Stef laughs, as she swallows a bite of her pancake.

"You can cook?" Mariana asks, her eyes wide.

"Dudeeeeeeee. What if they start expecting that from me and Brandon?" Jesus pouts, taking a seat beside of me.

"Maybe we should enroll you two in classes." Lena smirks, a mischievous sparkle in her eye, before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Mmm... I swear, even his coffee's perfect." Stef whispers happily.

"This is great!" Brandon says happily, around a bite of bacon.

"You did really good Jude." Mariana smiles, with Jesus nodding his head in encouragement.

"Yeah, this is really amazing." Connor gives me a small smile.

I smile, before taking my empty bowl over to the sink, and begin to wash. "Jude, Darling, you made breakfast, we can do the dishes." I hear Stef say, I can almost her the frown in her voice.

"Nah, it's okay. I have it." I smile a little.

"Well... if you're sure.." I hear the doubt in her voice, but ignore it and go back to washing the dishes.

When I have all the dishes done, it's about 10:20. And Stef's getting ready to head to the station, Connor and Jesus are in the living room playing video games, Brandon's upstairs playing a piece on his keyboard; Mariana's cleaning her room; and Lena is sitting at the counter, replying to emails. "I don't wanna go to school tomorrow," I sigh.

She gives me a small smile, "That's a shock. You had me thinking you liked it." She smiles gently.

I sigh and give her** the look**, and she can't help but laugh. "Lena?"

"Yeah hun?"

"They... They're gonna find her right? She isn't just gonna become one of those girls people look for for a little while, then just forget about, right?"

She sighs, smiles just a little bit, "We're gonna bring her home Jude. You know Stef isn't going to stop looking until she's found her."

"I want them to find her. And I want to believe they will... But if Callie doesn't want to be found, then she won't be. That's if she wasn't really kidnapped."

"Jude honey, I don't know, maybe it wasn't a coincidence that the blood they found matched her type."

"Lena, I know my sister. Callie wouldn't of let something like this happen to her." I frown.

She's about to retort when her cell phone rings. It's Stef. And of course, the news isn't good this time either.

Later:

I glare at Jesus's bed. Deciding that it's the easiest thing to be angry at. It's not like it's Jesus, Mariana, Brandon, Stef, Lena, or Connor's fault that my sister was taken by some guy Liam probably paid off to do it. It's my fault. If I hadn't of said she was selfish, then she wouldn't of run off. I shouldn't have gotten so upset! After everything she's done for me, I owed her a chance at happiness. But no, I couldn't be as selfless for her as she has always been for me. I wish she was here right now, she was much better than Stef and Lena at comforting me. "Jude?" I hear Stef's quiet voice, muffled by the door.

"Come in."

"Hey Sweetheart," She smiles as she takes a seat on my bed.

"Hi."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"About what? About the fact that someone killed another girl who looked like Callie, and left a note saying he couldn't wait until it was actually her we found? How it's my fault my sister, the one person in the world who has always loved me, is being held hostage by some psycho? Or how that same freak sent us a video of her after he beat her?" I snarl, my voice getting louder as I speak, as I pace around my room.

"Jude. We're gonna find her." Stef whispers as she wraps me in her arms.

"What if we don't! How do you know we're gonna find her!' I snap.

"Because, I'm not giving up until Callie's home safe and sound." She whispers softly.

"It's all my fault," I sob.

She sighs, and pulls me tighter to her, "No Sweets, it isn't. I know you think it is, but you didn't force her to leave Jude. It's not like you held a gun to her head. We're gonna get through this, okay?"

I nod and let her hold me for a couple of minutes, trying to believe that it isn't my fault. '_She might not act like it, but she__** hates you**__. They __**all hate you**__. Everyone would rather have Callie here than you. You're __**worthless, disgusting, a baby.**__**Callie**__ is so much __**better**__ than __**you**__.'_

"Jude? I'm gonna go back downstairs, okay? I've gotta make a few calls." She says softly, and I nod. '_Probably to Bill... saying they don't want someone as __**pathetic as you**__. I mean honestly, who would? Callie left you, The Fosters probably can't wait to get rid of you, and where's your best buddy Connor? Oh that's right, with Jesus_.'

"Hey," I hear Connor's soft voice as he closes the door gently.

I simply nod, just barely acknowledging his presence. He sighs, and lays down beside of me. "Are we playing the silent game now?"

"... I guess."

He snorts, "So.. How are you?"

"I feel guilty."

"It's not your fault," He reminds gently.

"Feels like it."

"Just because you feel like it doesn't mean it's the truth," He mumbles.

I look him in the eye, wondering if he can see my heartbreak and despair, "Then whose fault is it? Mariana didn't tell her she was selfish. Neither did Jesus or Brandon. Or Stef and Lena. I did. It's my fault."

"Jude, no it's not." He manages to say this while looking in my eyes. He must be a good liar.

"Yes it is! It is my fault! I always screw everything up! It's the one thing I'm actually good at! Callie could be dead, and it'd be all my fa-" But my rants suddenly stopped by something over my lips, muffling my hateful words.

* * *

**A/N:Please review! And no updates until Sunday afternoon or sometime Monday! I know, I'm leaving you in suspense, but I'm going away this weekend.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Jude's POV:**  
It had been a couple of days since everything had happened. During my self hating rant, Connor had covered my lips with his hand, before he got a strange look in his eyes, and ran off. I talked to Connor more but I still basically kept to myself. And the couple of times he had tried to get me to sit with him at lunch had all made me change my mind the minute I looked at his friends displeased expressions. With that in mind, I resorted to eating with Lena in her office. Or, with our new neighbor on the beach.

She was pretty in a different way, not rugged and battered like Callie was, or bubbly and bright like Mariana, but in a rebellious and fun sort of way, I guess. Her name was Aislinn, and she was in the same grade as Mariana and Jesus. But she had a free period during my lunch time and she would always somehow end up finding me when I needed to talk. Personally, I think Jesus had a crush on her, not that he'd ever admit it though. He wants to be with Lexi I guess. But with long black hair and blue and white streaks running through it, icy blue eyes, pale skin, and a secretive smile she was hard not to like.

But I saw her like a sister. She made me feel safe in a way that Callie couldn't. Aislinn gave off the impression that she was always in control, that nothing could touch her. Like she was invincible. All she had to do was give me a reassuring smile, or even whisper some comforting words, or just look at me with understanding and I suddenly felt safer than I ever had in my whole life. Her personality was a lot like Callie's but bolder. If she had something to say, she wouldn't wait until she reached her breaking point to say it, she was sarcastic, brutal, harsh, but when you really got to know her she was soft and caring.

Aislinn spent a lot of time over at our house. Her parents fought a lot is the excuse she told me. I tried not to worry about the fact that Lena was constantly keeping her at our house, and that when she wasn't here and I saw her the next day she had a black eye or some bruise and a new cut on her wrist. She was smart, and a lot wiser than most people would give her credit for. She was the one who really made me come to terms with my feelings for Connor. We'd been sitting in mine and Jesus's room, me laying on my bed doing homework, her looking at a framed picture of Lexi and Jesus, gently running her fingertip over Lexi's face.

**Flashback:**  
"So, how long have you known you were gay?" Blunt and to the point.

"What are you talking about," I had frowned.

She had snorted, and rolled her eyes, "Come on Jude. That Connor kid. I think he likes you back personally."

"What?" I blinked, my english homework forgotten.

"I dunno, just the way he'll look at you sometimes when you're off sulking in self hatred. Ya know? When you suddenly shrink inwards and it looks like the lightest breeze could tip you over. It's like, he wants to just hold you tight and protect you. And then, you stare at him with this love sick puppy dog look." She had raised her eyebrows, just a little, obviously amused.

"I like him, yeah. But Connor has all the girls at school falling at his feet, he'd never notice me." I had mumbled, before going back to my homework, and Aislinn, thankfully, dropped it.  
**End Flashback:**

I sighed, shoving my books into my locker, before grabbing my brown bagged lunch, and swiftly walked off to the beach, where I saw Aislinn. Just laying down, staring at the sky. She was so odd sometimes. "What are you doing?" I question, as I plop down beside of her.

She sighs, sounding annoyed, "I detest people."

"And that's new?"

"I detest new people."

"And the old ones?"

"I suppose I detest them just a little bit less."

"Well that's a plus." I reply, just the tiniest bit sarcastic.

She laughs, before sitting up, and smiling just a little. "So... how's your day going?"

"It's been dull."

"Ah. Sounds like you're gonna be a real party animal one day."

"I know, what can I say- Hey, why's Jesus coming own here?" I frowned.

"Don't ask me! He's your brother."

"Hey Jude. Aislinn." Jesus smiles warmly before dropping down beside her.

"Go away." She sighs, a bored look on her face.

"That's not any fun." He smiles, just a little, "Oh hey, there's Connor."

"Why are you invading our conversation?" She groans, as she pushes to her feet.

"Where are you going?" I frown.

She smirks, just a little bit, "Away from Jesus."

But he frowns, and grabs her hand, "I need to talk to you."

An agitated look takes it's spot on her face and she glares, but nods. And then Connor's sitting down beside me, and I try really really hard not to have a heart attack and die."There ya go, Connor dude. You two talk, while Aislinn and I go have a word or two." Jesus smiles as he drags the raven haired girl away.

**With Jesus and Aislinn**:  
**Jesus's POV:**  
"What do you want?" The girl snaps as I drag her about twenty feet away from Jude.

"I wanna talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you!" She huffs impatiently. Aislinn reminds me of Callie, who I'm still hoping somehow finds her way home, because they are both to damn stubborn for their own good.

"I know about the abuse. And the cutting."

"Shut your face, Foster. You don't know anything." She hisses, a dark glint in her eyes.

"I know more than you think. Lena saw your parents smack you around last night. She was out in the yard, when she heard screaming. Your parents left the curtain open, she took pictures on her phone. Reporting it today, I believe. But, she's going to ask if you can stay with us."

"I don't... Why the... Why the hell can't you guys keep your noses out of my business! What goes on behind closed doors, needs to stay behind closed doors! I don't need you and your moms and your siblings trying to help me! I can take care of myself!" She snarls.

"Why didn't you tell my moms? Lena is a principal and Stef's a cop. They would have helped you."

"Maybe I was afraid. Okay? I'm afraid, because who in their right mind wants some freaky girl with an attitude issue and has abusive parents and a cutting problem." She whispers quietly, as she looks to the ground.

"It's going to be okay," I whisper gently, as she lets me hug her, holding her tightly, and ignore the stinging in my heart at seeing someone like her so breakable.

**With Jude and Connor:**  
"So.. back to basically avoiding me again?" Connor says dryly as I look at my shoes.

"Possibly."

"Jude... why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"People get close, but then, you I dunno, pull away. Freeze them out. People care about you, ya know. Stef and Lena. Mariana, Jesus, and Brandon. Callie. Aislinn, obviously does, and me. I care about you."

"You shouldn't." I finally ground out, regretting not hiding out in Lena's office today.

"Well I do. And I want you to stop ignoring me." He frowns.

"..."

"I'm serious, Jude. I care about you to much to just let you freeze me out and let you hate yourself."

"Why'd you run out the other day?"

"What?"

"The other day. At my house. I was ranting about how Callie being gone was my fault, you slapped your hand over my mouth, got this strange look in your eyes, and ran off."

"Oh.. that." He mumbles, sounding and looking nervous.

"Yeah."

"Well.. Because, I... I think that I like you." He mumbles, embarrassed.

And I freeze in shock.

**Callie's POV:**  
I try not to flinch as I hear another shriek from another innocent girl that doesn't deserve to die. I knew I shouldn't of testified against Liam. I knew he was sick, but I never knew he was this messed up. Paying a guy to take me, and then kill off a bunch of girls to make the Fosters give up on me? That was just sick. So far, two girls were dead. And he had thirteen more, not counting me. It was sick and disgusting and it made my stomach curl just thinking about it. I hear another horrified scream, and close my eyes tight, covering my ears with my hands, hoping this is all just a nightmare that Brandon will wake me up from.


	5. Chapter 5

When Connor said he liked me, I ran. I couldn't deal with it, it was too... to messed up. So I just ran off, running past an angry Aislinn and a sympathetic Jesus. They didn't even notice me. And when I eventually got home, I found the phone, called Lena, then went to mine and Jesus's room, grabbed my blanket, a bunch of pillows, and went off to hide in a closet for a nice nap.

Four hours later, I heard the closet door slam, and came face to face with a pair of scruffy combat boots that only Aislinn could ever really pull off. She snorted, before sinking down beside of me, "Why are you sleeping in a closet?"

"Why are you in the closet I'm trying to sleep in?"

"Because Connor is coming over at like... soon. And I thought you'd want to be prepared. Plus I'm still pissed off at your mothers and I'm avoiding Jesus." She sighs and I groan.

"Can he not take a hint?" I huff.

"Apparently not. He's persis- Ssh... Hear that? It's Jesus." She whispers, and I listen closely and hear Jesus's voice growling out her name.

We're silent for a couple of minutes as he walks off, "I hate how quiet it is right now." She says softly.

"Why?"

"I have my reasons."

We're quiet until a thought occurs to me, "Aislinn?"

Her blue eyes stare intently, as if to say "Go ahead"

"Did your... did your dad... ya know.. touch you?" I finally ground out.

She looks down at ehr hands, folded in her lap, "Yeah Jude. He did... Did anyone.. hurt you like that?" She mumbles.

"Yes. Foster fathers and brothers... Mr. Olmstead, Liam, the last foster father, and alot more."

"I'm sorry."

"Why'd your father start raping you?"

"I had an older brother. Did I ever tell you that?"

"No."

"Well I did. His name was Nathan, and when I was twelve he was seventeen. And I was just as terrible then as I am now. We lived in Chicago, a real bad neighbor hood, ya know? Not the best place for a kid to be walking around by herself. Well... I skipped school one day, and everything was going fine. I remember how proud of myself I was, that I was gonna go home and rub it right in my brothers face that I could take care of myself. Well.. there were these guys. Complete dumbasses. They... um, they grabbed me. And they dragged me into an alley. My brother was pretty smart and had graduated at fifteen, and he got off work early. He heard me screaming. Begging them... Begging them to stop. He wasn't the first person to hear me screaming, but he was the only person to stop. When he saw them.. doing that to me, he flipped the hell out. He beat the hell outta them, but one of them had a knife. He lost too much blood. And my mom blamed my dad. And me. Even though it wasn't my dads fault. It wasn't! She said it was his fault because he didn't go to college and all he ever got were crappy jobs, and that's why we were in Chicago. I can't remember how many guys she brought home, or how many times she left for days! And my dad would be so drunk... he didn't know what he was doing. It wasn't his fault. Or my moms. It was mine. It's my fault he's dead, and why everything that's happened, happened." She let's out a couple of soft sobs.

I pause, unsure what to say. 'It's not your fault."

"Yes it is." She argues.

I sigh, "It's not like you asked to be raped, Ais. I didn't ask for sick, perverted, foster families. You didn't ask for screwed up parents."

"Does your sister know?"

I snort, "No. No one but you knows."

"Why'd they mess with you Jude?"

I shrug my shoulders,"At first? Easy target I guess. They told me I'd fit in if I let 'em, and didn't tell Callie. Eventually it was to protect her, like she protected me. I'm not that damn stupid, ya know? I knew what  
Liam did. And I begged him not to do it again, and that was our trade off. Eventually told me either I let him do it to me, or he'd do it to thing with a couple other foster homes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's pretty screwed up, huh? The fact everyone thinks I'm silly, sweet, naive and innocent Jude, but I think I've been raped more times than Callie. And yet, she acts out far worse than I do."

She's about to speak, when suddenly the door opens. There's Jesus, a look of pure rage on his face, same with Connor. Brandon and Stef look shocked. But Mariana and Lena are crying. I freeze, because this isn't exactly something I'm proud of, and I don't want them knowing. Aislinn however, reacts. Her look is one of anger and hatred and she pushes Jesus, who was making his way towards her, away. "Who in the hell do you think you are you stupid bastard?! That was a private conversation! But then again, it seems to me like no one in this God Forsaken family knows anything about privacy!" She snarls, as she pushes past, making her way up to the attic that Stef just recently cleaned out. I take it that's her room now? Stef and Lena looks back and forth between me and Aislinn, obviously trying to decide who to deal with. I give them a look though, that says, 'Go deal with her! She needs you guys more than I do!'. As though they've read my mind, they send Mariana and Brandon to their rooms or to go do something productive, while they follow Jesus on up,while Connor makes his was into the closet beside of me.

**With Aislinn, Jesus, Stef, and Lena:**  
**Jesus's POV:**  
When Stef, Lena, and I reach the attic, Aislinn in angrily throwing clothes into a suitcase, her tiny shoulders tense. Dammit. She's angry. "Aislinn?" I hear Lena's soft voice say.

Aislinn's shoulder grow stiffer, if that's even possible, "What?" She seethes.

"Sweetheart, we didn't mean to intrude on your conversation... it just.. It sort of happened." Lena says softly, as she makes her way over to the angry girl, and when she reaches out to touch her, Aislinn flinched, throwing a sneer in Lena's direction.

"Yeah? Well it 'sort of' shouldn't have!" She hisses.

Stef sighs, and makes her towards Lena, who looks hurt, but that's a constant look now that Callie's been gone. "Aislinn... We're trying to help you but we can-"

"No! Just... just shut up! Shut up! You aren't trying to 'help me!' You've both officially made my life hell! I was doing fine with my parents! Yeah, occasionally I got hit, and yeah, sometimes my dad tried to get in my pants. So what. There are people out there who have it a lot worse! You took me away from my home! From my life! I don't know any of you except for Jude!" She snarls, as her shoulders shake.

I sigh, and give Lena and Stef a look, as I take a step towards her, and when I realize she's going to let me close enough to touch her, I wrap my arms around her, "You shouldn't have that be your life. You don't deserve it. You're what, sixteen? Seventeen? Same age as me, and my life doesn't revolve around that, just let us help you." I say quietly as she sobs harder into my shoulder.

**With Jude and Connor:**  
As he sits down beside of me, I consider scooting away, but decide against it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't know it mattered." I replied gruffly.

"I want to help you."

"You can help me, by forgetting I exist."

"I like you Jude. Okay? Alot. More than a friend. And I'm not gonna leave you. Why can't you understand that?"

"Callie wasn't supposed to leave me either, but I don't see her anywhere either. Do you?"

He sighs, "They're gonna find her Jude."

I snort, "Yeah. Sure."

He groans, exasperated, 'Why must you be so difficult?" He smiles, just a little.

A small smile slips onto my face, "It's part of the charm."

"Obviously," He laughs as he tentatively takes my hand and laces our fingers together.

"You really aren't going to give up, are you?" I question.

He smirks triumphantly, "Nope!"

"I can't guarantee this is going to work."

"You can't guarantee it won't."

"I get moody. Anti-social. And sometimes I say things I don't mean. I'm stubborn, and over sensitive." I reply simply.

"I've been your friend for how long now? I know Jude. I don't care. I like you."

I sigh,"I like you too."

He smiles, content.

"Promise me something?" I ask quietly.

"Sure. Anything."

"Don't leave me.. okay?"

"Okay." He whispers.


	6. Chapter 6

** MBFL:** I actually do think that in a way, she could look like Dina from Shake It Up! But, only because... I don't know, they both act so tough. But when I thought of Aislinn, I sort of thought of a mix of Troiann Bellisario, Lucy Hale, and Alexis Bledel.

**Callie's POV:**

I sigh, as I slide down the cool wall and try not flinch at the feeling of something gross and..._fuzzy _crawling over my foot. The door slams open and this time I do flinch. Geoff, exleast I think that's his name. I've heard him answer his phone with it. I wonder who he speaks to, Liam? The man is very strange, one minute he is sympathetic and regrets kidnapping me, but the next is very violent and angry, smacking, kicking, and punching me. He's pretty screwed up. "Guess what girly?" He smirks, as he grabs a fistful of my hair, and pulls until I'm looking him in the eye.

"What?" I spit.

He smacks me across the face, angry, and glares, "My man told me to get rid of you. Stand up, kid. Get to moving." He snarls, and I try to ignore the feel of cold metal pressing against my back.

**Jude's POV:**

Connor stayed the night that night, even though it was a Monday. His parents seemed to be very understanding of the situation, well not the _Connor had feelings for me and I returned them _ but the _My sister that's taken care of me for years has gone missing and I'm unbelievably broken_ situation. I still wasn't sure how to tell Lena and Stef I was gay. The only person that knew was Aislinn, and I was hoping it'd stay that way But I guess it wasn't. Connor was worth it though.

I wonder what Callie would think about this. If she'd be happy, or upset with me for not telling her. She'd probably threaten Connor some, but in the end she'd be proud of me for coming to terms with it. "How am I gonna tell Lena, Stef, Jesus, Mariana, and Brandon?" I sigh, as we lay on a blanket in the back yard, watching the sunset.

He looks at me, shocked, "They don't already know?"

"No. At our foster home before our last one, I told the parents, they had been so nice and understanding about everything else Callie and I had told them... When I told them I liked boys one day, they said they didn't want a _'fag' _living with them... Callie and I were gone the next day. I never did tell her why they got rid of us."

"How old were you?" He asks quietly.

"At the time? I was thirteen."

"You've kept that secret for two years?"

"Yes."

"I don't think they'll judge you."

"Did yours judge you?"

"Nah. They don't care very much about that type of stuff."

"Hmm... I don't think Stef and Lena would care, I mean they _are_ gay. I'm just nervous Jesus and Brandon will change their mind about their mom keeping me."

He smiles, "I don't think they care very much. Jesus knows you don't like him like_ that, _and I'm sure Brandon does too. Stef and Lena won't care, I'm sure of it."

"I'm gonna tell them tomorrow when Stef comes home from work."

"Are you nervous?" He questions, as he gives my hand a gentle squeeze.

I smile, and hope he can't notice my faint blush, "Not really. There's something about this place, I guess. I think it's all gonna be okay."

He tugs on my hand, pulling me closer, so I have my head on his shoulder,"I think Jesus has a thing for that girl, Aislinn, right?"

I smile,"Well... I think with him and Lexi it was just physical. Aislinn confuses him, not that I'm shocked, she's a very confusing girl. But anyways, she makes him think. With Lexi, he knew what she wanted, and if he didn't, she told him, and Aislinn won't do that."

He laughs quietly, as we look up at the sky.

**Aislinn's POV:**

I look around the mostly empty attic. There's a bed, a large dresser, a small bedside table, a desk, and a closet that's mostly empty. Lena and Stef had let me go get my clothes, and I didn't really have much. Just like I didn't have a lot of things to bring over from my bedroom. The only thing that I really wanted was the framed photo of Nathan, my parents, grandparents, and myself from a year before... everything had happened.

What I really wanted though, was to be furious at Stef and Lena. Except... I wasn't. It was, 6:30, and I hadn't been smacked or hit... or forced to do stuff I didn't want to do. God, they even ate dinner at this house! I was lucky to get dinner. Normally I could have lunch. Unless my parents didn't feel that I deserved it. Which happened alot, now that I thought about it.

I sighed, and decided to go see if dinner was ready, because I hadn't eaten in a couple of days and I was **starving**! When I walked down the steps, onto the second floor, I was walking past Jesus's room, when suddenly I was pulled in. "Jesus?" What the hell are you doing?"I hiss, annoyance obvious.

"Ssh! Listen, I was going to ask them when dinner was, but they were crying over Callie. I think the best thing to do is to leave them alone for a little while. They still don't understand why she left. I think that, as of right now, we need to leave them alone,okay?"

I nod in agreement, "Have they heard anything about Callie?"

He sighs, looking sad, "No. I don't know what we're gonna do. We're supposed to hear from the cops soon. All of us have a house phone with us, all the time anymore. They don't wanna call though, until they've found Callie."

I sigh, and sit down beside of him, "Do you think she's okay? I hope she is. I mean, I haven't met her or anything, but Jude really loves her. If something worse, does happen... I don't think any of us will be able to fix him." I say softly.

He opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off by the phone ringing. The phones answered and I hear Stef's soft voice. Jesus reaches beside of me, and looks down, "It's the Kansas Police Station." He says quietly, and looks down at his feet.

I lean against him, "It's gonna be okay."

It's silent for a few minutes until Stef's voice reaches us, "Kids! Come down here!"

I feel Jesus grab my hand, and drags me down stairs with him, I see Brandon and Mariana sitting beside each other on the couch, clutching each others hands desperately. *He should be over there with her..* I think quietly, as I let go of his hand and walk over closer to Stef, who has a blank look on her face. A couple of minutes later, Jude and Connor come in with Jude clutching Connor's hand, a scared look on his face. *Where's Lena?*

"You guys... sit down. They found Callie..."

**A/N:So, should Callie live or no? Leave a comment, and there will be a poll on my wall.**


	7. Chapter 7

Jude's POV:

I was scared. I couldn't tell if what Stef had to tell us was good or bad, she wasn't letting any emotion be shown. Aislinn was perched against the wall, one foot planted firmly on the ground, her expression blank. I wanted her to tell me everything was alright. And I wanted Aislinn to stay here, because no matter how wild or dangerous Aislinn might be, I knew she wouldn't leave me. She wasn't like that. Aislinn had stepped into the mothering role that Callie had left behind. Callie wasn't here to, and Stef and Lena were so busy with the investigation they couldn't.

Brandon and Mariana were clutching each others hands, their desperation obvious. They were just as afraid as I was.. Jesus was standing in the middle of the room, looking in between Aislinn and our family. Stef was sitting on the couch, stumbling over her words again and again. Lena, who had just flitted into the room, wore a smile... A smile? And Connor would squeeze my hand every couple of seconds, letting me know he was there if I needed him. I wanted to hug him. Or Aislinn. Or Stef and Lena. Okay, I really just wanted someone to hug me and tell me everything would be alright.

"Callie is... She's bruised. And battered. Kind of messed up, but she's alive. When they first got her to the hospital, the weren't sure, but everything looks good now."

Callie's...alive?! She's alive! She's okay, and she's coming home soon! I miss her, but at the same time... I was furious with her! How dare she put herself in that position! A nd how could she leave me like that? She was supposed to love me! But how could she leave me if she loved me so much... It's gonna be hard but I'm gonna have to try and forgive her. I know, I shouldn't even dwell on it, but SHE. LEFT. ME! How can't I be angry? I'm so happy she's coming home, but I can't just... I... I sigh, and smile fakely at my family.

Soon all of us, except for Aislinn and I, are discussing things. At first it was just us talking about Sharon coming over and staying with us for the next week or so while Stef and Lena fly out to stay with Callie until she's okay to come home. And suddenly, it was like Callie was just out with Wyatt or off in her room, being anti-social. Soon almost everyone was talking, Connor and Jesus were talking about sports, Brandon was telling Stef about some piano scholarship, and Mariana was telling Lena about some dress she wanted from the mall.

Aislinn looked forlorn, and after claiming that she was tired, she said she was gonna go upstairs and lay down until the pizza came. I decided that I wanted to go see what she was doing, so I just walked out, not like anyone... Connor... noticed I left. I followed Aislinn upstairs to her attic room, and found her laying face down on her bed."Hi." I squeak.

I hear her let out a small laugh, "Hey Jude." Her words muffled by the pillow.

"What's wrong?"

She sits up, looking confused, and gives me a small comforting smile, "Jude hun, everything's okay. Okay? I promise. I just miss my home."

I frown and pull over a dusty, somewhat ratty chair, and sit infront of her bed."Why?"

She giggles, just a little, and reaches over to ruffle my hair, "It might not have been the best place, but that's the only home I've ever known."

I frown and sigh, resting my head on my knees as I curl tightly into myself, "Do you think you and Callie'll get along?"

"Maybe. I'm going to try and get along with her."

"I wish I'd have never said what I said to her at the wedding," I sigh.

"Don't be dumb, Jude. You didn't make Callie leave. She's seventeen and you're fourteen and a half right? You didn't force her to leave, she didn't have to. I think Callie is just afraid of being wanted."

"Can I tell you something?"

She nods, and settles back against the wall, holding a pillow to her chest, "I'm glad Callie's coming home... but I'm sort of... angry with her too."

She gives me the look that lets me know to go on, "And I just... I know it's wrong. I do. But that doesn't change how I feel. We'd barely been with the Fosters for three months. It wouldn't be the first time that the parents were so nice, and then after a couple of months became totally different people. Callie promised me that she wouldn't leave me... Then when she came home from juvie and after she saved me from my foster dad... She promised she wouldn't leave me again. And she broke that promise. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to trust her like I did."

She sighs, and pushes her streaked hair out of her eyes before letting out a quiet sigh, and scooting over, patting the spot beside of her, which I gladly take. Being around Aislinn makes me feel safe. And as shocking as it is, the kind of security she gives me is the kind Callie has never really provided. I can tell Aislinn things I'm ashamed to tell Callie, because Aislinn isn't going to judge or question it, or try and stop it like Callie knows I need to have space, and I need to make my own mistakes, while Callie would rather pretend I'm perfect. Quietly, I let out a small, strangled sob, as I lean my head against her shoulder, and she let's her cheek rest against the top of my head. The two of us have become very close in the short amount of time I've known her.

"That's understandable Jude. Honest. Callie was a constant in your life, and her leaving like she did, obviously is going to cause some issues for you guys. Some of them are fixable, either from counseling or just plain old working themselves out. But, sometimes it can't always be fixed. You can't guarantee that you and Callie will have the same relationship as you used to." She says softly, as she strokes my hair.

It's calming and I sigh, "But... what if she gets mad at me?"

"Jude, Callie has no right to be upset with you.. you know that right?"

"I guess. It just aggravates me."

She laughs quietly, and we remain quiet for a second or two when Jesus and Connor's heads pops up from the staircase. "Hey you two, time for dinner!" They smile, but it looks forced.

Jude's POV:

After dinner, I walk upstairs to mine and Jesus's shared room, and wonder what will happen over the next few weeks. Probably nothing good, but then again, when does anything good happen much anymore? I don't bother to change just yet, and instead focus on the new book I'm reading for school,_ 'Catching Fire,' _since we just recently finished _'The Hunger Games'_, I liked the books, but at the same time I didn't. I liked Katniss because she was so selfless taking care of Prim and her mother like she did. Yet, at the same time I found her irrevocably selfish. I mean she wanted Peeta one minute, and she wanted Gale the next. She was stringing the two along, and only wanted them when it was convenient for her. But it had a nice plot, so I didn't mind Katniss's romantic issues to much. "Hey.." I hear Connor say quietly as he came in.

"Hi."

"I was looking for you," He smiles as he lays down beside of me.

"You were busy watching the game with Jesus. I was gonna go find Aislinn but she, Stef and Lena were talking. It didn't seem polite. And Mariana was on the phone with Lexi."

"JesusandIheardyouandAislinnwhenyouguyswerettalkin gupstairs." I hear Connor say, nervous.

"What?"

"Jesus and I sort of heard you and Aislinn when you guys were talking upstairs. We came up to tell you guys dinner was done, but whatever you two were talking about seemed important, and we sort of froze." He says quietly.

"Oh. Okay." And with that I go back to reading.

"You aren't mad?" He says, eyes wide in surprise.

I groan, and roll over onto my back, and lay my book on my chest, knowing I won't accomplish much reading tonight. "Do I wish you wouldn't of eavesdropped and waited until I told you what was on my mind? Yes. I do, very much so. But I can understand your curiosity because of the situation we've all been put in. I do wish though, you'd heard it differently. I sound like an awful person." I sigh.

He looks at me, and smiles. "I don't think your awful. And I understand why you feel the way that you do. God, who can blame you? But you're still **My Jude. **No matter what you say or what you do." He smirks.

I snort, "Possessive much?"

He smiles, pecks my cheek, flashes a cheeky smile, "You know it!" He laughs before taking off. I can't help but laugh and follow him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Jude's POV:**

The next three weeks are undeniably stressful. Stef and Lena have been in Kansas, and Sharon's been watching us. The first couple of days, Sharon had spent hours on the phone consoling Stef and Lena, who had been informed that there was a chance Callie could die. In fact one day, she'd flat lined. Not that anyone was going to tell me. In the end, it was Aislinn who had.

**Flashback:**

Connor had just walked me home, which is something he did just about everyday. But normally he stayed for dinner and we did our homework together. Today, however he had karate, then soccer, so he really did have to go home. He had hugged me, kissed my cheek, and waved before walking down the block, where his mom would be waiting. I smiled, way to happy, except when I walked in my smile evaporated. I could hear everyone whispering furiously in the kitchen, so after ditching my book bag upstairs, I made my way into the kitchen.

Mariana, Jesus, and Brandon were all glaring furiously at Aislinn while Sharon was standing in the middle, her head buried in her hands. Aislinn hadn't had the chance to fix her roots, so the whitish blonde color was peeking out. Not that any of us commented on it. We all knew better than that. She was swearing in Italian, she never did explain where she learned it. All she'd ever say was that she'd met a lot of interesting people in her life.

"So... why's everyone fighting?" I ask, leaning against the entrance to the kitchen.

"Jude... Oh, um... No reason. Everything's fine. Go do your homework." Brandon smiles.

Aislinn snorts, and throws a bent fork at him, which he _(thankfully) _caught. He glowers, and she smiles innocently. Jesus sighs, and Mariana sneers. "You need to tell him the truth!" Aislinn snarls.

Sharon frowns, "Aislinn... honey..."

"No! He deserves to know, Sharon. You know it just as well as I do. Stef and Lena would tell him if they were here! Even if these three idiots didn't want him too!" Aislinn snaps.

They all sigh, and Sharon runs a hand through her hair. "Jude, sweetie, go on upstairs. Someone will be up in a sec, okay?" She smiles.

I frown, but obey, making my way up the stairs, where I start my science homework. It's about ten minutes later, when someone knocks on my door, "Come in!" I mumble, distracted.

It's Aislinn that comes in. A small, unsure smile on her face, like she's unsure of how to talk to me. "Jude... something happened."

"Okay, what's up?" I smile.

"Callie.. Callie flatlined today. I mean, they got her heart beating again... But things don't look good." She whispers.

**End Flashback:**

I had freaked out after that. But Aislinn just hugged me while I cried, she had taken on the role as _my protector_. Callie would probably be jealous. She'd yell at me for replacing her, even though I really hadn't. I just trusted Aislinn, I liked being around her because even though she did baby me, she was always there to listen to what I had to say.

Aislinn sighs, as I pace the attic. Stef and Lena had told her to decorate, because they were intending to adopt her. So, she had painted the room a deep silver color, with green vines painted on the wall. She was quite the artist, and instead of doing something boring for the lights, she hand painted lanterns and used them. Her room was peaceful, and I always felt safe here. Everything I said, or did, was kept in here. It never left this room."Jude. Dude. Seriously, chill out. Callie won't be home for another hour, I think."

"What if she gets mad at me?"

She smirks, "For what?"

"I don't know, breathing?" I huff, exasperated, as I flale my arms around.

She blinks, before going back to her book, "You should be in drama."

I sigh before collapsing on her armchair that looks out into the backyard. Aislinn and I have grown inseparable. The only time we normally aren't together is class, and when Connor's here. Except, lately... I dunno. He's been spending a lot of time with his friends. He didn't even walk me home today... maybe I'm over reacting. In fact I'm positive I am. Loudly, I sigh, over and over again, until I hear Aislinn groan and look at me. "Whatttttttttt?" She sighs.

"I'm soooooooooooooo boredddddddddddddd." I pout.

"And? Your point is?" She smirks.

"What should I do?" I sigh dramatically.

She flicks her wrist in the direction of her bookcase, "Go find something interesting to read."

I sigh, but do as she says. She has an interesting taste in books. But I see tattered notebooks, on the bottom shelf, so I grab the newest looking one. "What's this?" I frown.

"Oh. Just these books. My brother started them. They don't really have names. You just write stuff in them, they're more or less journals. You write poems, stroies, put pictures in it, quotes. Stuff that you want in there. Then, you trade with someone once you both have the book filled. I don't know why I still keep 'em."

"I wanna make one!" I declare.

"Okay, knock yourself out." She smiles gently.

"I'm reading this one though," I smile, and she rolls her eyes but smiles and nods.

I open it up and the first thing I see is a poem by Robert Frost, a drawing of a willow, swaying in the wind. And as I flip through I see a picture of her and some boy, he's kissing her cheek and she looks happy. Then I see more drawings, so intricate and beautiful that leave me in awe. I read poems that she's written. And journal entries, about what's been going on. I see how she view the world, in a way.

Soon, I've gone through two or three more, and then I hear squeals and shouts of happiness, and soon Aislinn and I are making our way down the steps and there's Callie. Looking pale and frail, but it's Callie. Aislinn stays close to the stairway, but she gently pushes me closer to my sister. She smiles and pulls me into her arms, and all I want to do is pull away from her and cry. But I don't, and I stiffly wrap my arms around her, and after a couple of seconds pull away, and retreat back to Aislinn.

She gives me a look, Callie I mean, but she doesn't say anything. Soon everyone's talking excitedly, except for Aislinn and I once again. Aislinn is absent mindedly braiding stands of hair, and I'm just pushing food around my plate. _Why hasn't Connor called? He knew Callie was coming home today! He knew! I told him! Right before Terrance and Manda came and pulled him off. Maybe he just wants to give me quality time with my sister... I hope. _ I must look upset, because Aislinn nudges me in the shoulder, just a little, and gives me a questioning look. I smile and nod my head reassuringly. I try not to notice the way Callie flares, a little more than necessary..

"So, Aislinn, how do you like it here so far?" Stef smiles.

I watch the mysterious girl smile, just a little, "It's nice."

"Well.. we've asked everyone but Jude how they'd feel about adopting you as well. And they've all agreed. So, really we just need Jude's agreement." Stef smiles coyly at me.

I squeal happily, "Yes! Yes! Yes! A million thousand times yes!" I say happily and hear Aislinn laugh quietly. The others, except for Callie, smile. Soon though we're all talking happily and we're all getting ready for bed. "Hey Jude!" Callie smiles as I exit the bathroom, towel drying my hair.

"Hey Callie."

"So... Do you need any help with your homework?" She smiles hopefully.

I try not to be upset. Where was she when I needed help with homework a couple of weeks ago? "No. Aislinn helps me with it."

"Oh... Listen Jude, there's something about that girl.. I don't think you should spend to much time around her... She's probably a bad influence."

I think my eye just twitched. "No."

"No? What do you mean no? I don't want you around her!" She frowns.

I roll my eyes, "Callie.. You can't just come back here and expect us to be okay again. You don't get to tell me not to be around Aislinn. Stef and Lena wouldn't bring her into their family if she was bad." I snap, before marching upstairs to see the _"bad influence."_

"Hey Jude!" She smiles, as she applies a black coat of nail polish to her right hand.

"Hi." I reply, glumly.

"What's wrong?"

"Callie and I got into it." I sigh.

She frowns, and sets down the brush, as she comes over and gives me a hug. I can smell the jasmine, honey, and vanilla body wash she loves. It's homey. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No. I just wanted to say goodnight." I smile.

She giggles, ruffling my hair, "Night kid. Sweet dreams."

**The Next Day:**

**3:45:**

**Aislinn's POV:**

I sighed as I came into the house. Momentarily stopping in the kitchen to find something to snack on, I grabbed an apple, before making my way upstairs. Mariana was singing off key to a_ "One Direction" _song, Jesus was jamming out to _AC/DC,_ Brandon was playing a piece by Beethoven, and Callie, Stef, and Lena weren't home. Jude must still be with Connor. "Hey Ais!" Jesus smiles as I sulk past his door.

"Hola."

"Hey, so Jude's seriously upset. He ran straight up to your room. I know you don't like anybody but Jude, Stef, and Lena in there but it's an emergency and so I went up but he refused to talk to anyone but you so we all came down."

I nod, "It's fine Jesus. I'll talk to you at dinner, kay?" I smile a little before making my way upstairs where a sobbing, hysterical, Jude awaits.

Jude's POV:

When Aislinn makes her way upstairs, I almost cry tears of joy. But I'm way too busy crying tears of heartbreak. "Hey honey... what's wrong?" I hear Aislinn coo softly, as she makes her way into the closet and sits beside of me.

"C...Connor and this girl were... hugging... and she ki.. ki... kissed him! And he pulled away after a... a.. minute or two!" I sob, flinging myself into her arms.

She gasps a little, pulling me closer to her. "Oh Jude! Maybe he has an explanation." Her voice is tinged with sadness.

I sob harder, with her whispering comforting words to me. Eventually I'm all tired out, and I simply lay my head in her lap, craving the comfort she gives me. I've never felt so safe and loved like I do with her. She start's singing the lyrics to Taylor Swift's "Safe and Sound" softly and I'm dozing off to sleep.

An hour or so later, Katie is still humming and I'm slowly waking up when I hear someone. Soon Stef, Lena, and Callie's faces appear."Jude? Aislinn? Where are you guys?"

"We're over here. In the closet." I hear Aislinn whisper.

Callie glowers, but Stef and Lena smile, "Jude, hun, Connor's down stairs. Real upset about something."

I frown but nod my head, leaving Stef, Lena, Callie, and poor Aislinn to converse.

"What do you want?" I hiss coldly,as I step out onto the front porch.

Connor's eyes are puffy and his cheeks are streaked with tears. He launches himself into my arm "I am so sorry!"

I sigh, but wrap my arms around him, "Why'd you do it?"

"I don't know! It just happened! At first she was crying because of something Jake said to her, and I was hugging her, but then she kissed me and I just froze up! I am so sorry Jude!"

"Ah. Connor, it's okay. Honestly, I just... Don't do it again, okay?"

He smiles, and kisses my cheek, "I'm really lucky I have you Jude."

"I'm really lucky to have you too."

**Aislinn's POV:**

After Jude walked out, it was just the four of us. Stef and Lena smiling knowingly, and Callie glaring. "So, you and Jude have gotten close."Stef smiles.

"He trusts me." I retort, defensively.

She holds her hands up in defense, "I just think its sweet is all. For awhile there, I thought we were gonna have to force Connor to move in just so he'd talk to someone! Then you moved in!"

I smile, thinking of the adorable kid, "At first he was so quiet you wouldn't believe it..And I let him because I knew he'd talk when he was ready. He just followed me around like a baby duck would his mother. And eventually we just became close. He's one of the most important things in the world to me." I reply honestly.

Stef and Lena smile, but Callie snaps, "Why did he come to you?! Not me! Jesus told me he wanted to know where you were! Not where I was! I'm his sister! Not you!"

I sigh, "Callie... grow up. You can't expect everything to be okay after you pulled that stunt. Jude probably doesn't trust you anymore and I don't blame him." I snap before stalking off.


	9. Chapter 9

Jude's POV:

_May 22nd:_

_The next few months are difficult. I've gone back to being anti-social and agitated. Instead of sitting with Aislinn, Jesus, and Connor at lunch, I retreat to the library and hide. Callie and I are trying to fix everything, but lets face it, the trust is broken. Stef and Lena have been arguing alot too. I can't actually hear what they say, but I can hear the muffled screams. It's scary too me._ **What if they get a divorce?**

_I hide in books and my school work, and try not to notice that Connor and Sofia Mannings walks down the hall, smiles plastered on their faces, holding hands_. _**You have no right to be jealous. You broke up with him, remember? But **__that doesn't take the sting out of seeing them together. I just try to ignore them._

_The bullying's gotten worse too. Not that I'm really shocked. I guess someone saw me with Connor and outed me. But of course, no one said anything about him. Popularity has its perks, huh? I got locked in my locker for three hours last week, until Jesus was walking down the hall looking for me, and I started screaming for him to get me out of the stupid thing. Connor doesn't tolerate the bullying though. When he's around they thankfully leave me alone._

_Sometimes he'll look at me, and sometimes it's like he misses me and the other half looks at me with pity. He and Jesus still hang out some, so he's at my house. I just lock myself away and pretend to be asleep or just read or write in the scribble book that Aislinn gave me the idea to keep. Callie and Brandon are dating too. But they have to drive a couple hours away so no one around here sees them. I'm just happy Callie's happy I guess. _

_Let's not forget the sexual tension between Aislinn and Jesus. His crush is way too obvious. I wish he'd just realize she likes him too, and ask her out already! Sigh- Lena's calling, time for dinner. Until later._

_May 24th:_

_I hate it here. I know it's terrible, but I wish we could just move and be happy. I honestly do. Sometimes I think things would be better if Callie and I had never even come here. None of this drama would of happened if we wouldn't of come here. No one knows I know about what happened, or that I know Mariana came to Jesus in tears last night, afraid that they're going to split up. _**Divorce? Not a word that comes to mind when you think about Stef and Lena Foster.**

_Of course... Most people didn't hear the fight that happened the other night. I was technically supposed to be in the library, but the librarian had left early and had locked the , I went up to Aislinn's room, because she had a license and a car and would be more than willing to take me to the library. But as for now, she was at ballet, and I'd have to wait. So I went down stairs to see if Brandon or Lena would give me a ride._

_Stef and Lena were screaming though. Brandon, Jesus, Callie, Mariana, and Aislinn right behind them in the door way, and none of them had seen me yet. "Why are you being so terrible!" Lena had screamed. _

_This was the first time Lena and Stef had fought in front of us. They didn't feel that we needed to know about their personal problems. Now I know why. "I'm not being anything,Love." Stef had replied, but her voice was tense._

_"You're acting distant- just like you do after speaking with your father!"_

_"Well I can insure you I haven't."_

_"You regret the wedding. Don't you?"_

_"I never said that," Stef had groaned, walking into the kitchen and opening a beer while I had hid in the dining room. Out of sight, but in hearing distance._

_"But you do... don't you? And don't lie Stef. Just tell me the truth." Lena's voice had shook with sobs._

_Stef sighed, "I love you so much Lena. You know that."_

_"Maybe I don't." She had whispered._

_Lena had left then. She didn't come back until ten that night. I had hid upstairs in Aislinn's closet. She knew I was there, but never said a word, knowing I needed the little bit of privacy I wouldn't normally be able to claim. Connor and Jesus had gone to the movies together that night. Aislinn told them I was sick. It's funny, after that now, I always feel that way._

I sigh, putting my notebook away. Stef and Lena were out on a date, and no one really wanted to cook for everyone else, so we were fending for ourselves tonight, and I was starving! I stumbled down the steps, and found Callie and Brandon giggling. "Hey baby." She smiles at me.

We were slowly going back to the way we used to be, "Hey. Where's everyone at?"

"Mariana is at the mall with some girl from school. Aislinn has ballet, and Jesus is out with Connor."

"Oh... Can we have pizza for dinner?"

Brandon laughs, "We already ordered it. We were gonna rent a movie, and hang out."

I smile some, "Sounds like fun!"

We're watching _Abduction_, Callie's new favorite movie since she's become obesessed with Taylor Lautner, or whatever his name was when Jesus and Connor come home. We've already watched three other movies and have eaten two and a half pizzas. It's safe to say I feel very pudgy. Whatever.

"Hey guys!" Jesus smiles as he and Connor waltz in, so I automatically glue my eyes to the tv, suddenly very interested in the movie.

"Hey Jesus! Hey Connor! What's up?" Callie smiles.

"Nothing much. Hey, since Stef and Lena are gone for the night and you two are in charge, can Connor stay over? We're going to the skate park tomorrow."

"Yeah sure. I don't care." Brandon smiles, as he goes back to watching Callie fall in love with Taylor.

"He's so beautiful," She sighs dreamily.

"Have you guys seen my- Oh! The beautifulness! It's killing me!" Aislinn squeals as she perches on the couch.

I try not to acknowledge Connor's gaze.


	10. Chapter 10

Jude's POV:

I sigh, and nestle farther into Aislinn's closet, sort of thankful there's a light in here. I open the notebook I had succesfully snuck out of mine and Jesus's room to March 29th. The day Connor and I had broken up.

_March 29th:_

_I broke up with him today. The one person who constantly reminded me they cared about me, and I pushed him away. Way to go Jude. I know Aislinn cares about me. The way she treats me, and how over protective of me makes it obvious. I know Callie cared about with the others. But, they didn't revolve their lives around me. Callie had once, and look what happened! She was kidnapped and tortured by Liam and Geoff. I didn't know if I believed in God, but I thanked him everynight for her safety, for being home, and for having other people besides me in her life. _

_Callie was finally happy. And I don't know if it wa sbecause Brandon brought her the kind of serenity she needed, or if it was because I was cutting myself off from everyone- except Connor it seemed. But he was the one I needed to leave alone. Connor was smart. Connor was athletic. Connor was popular. The keyword in those three sentences? _Was. _He was all those things, before me, anywyas. From what I could tell he wasn't concentrating on anything but me and was ignoring his friends to spend time with me._

_I was going to end up destroying him. I would screw him up, like I screwed Callie up and that wasn't fair. Wasn't fair to him, his friends, his family. Connor was going to go places. And me? I'd just be _**'the fag'**_ who would stay here and hide away from the world. Connor deserved better than that. He deserved someone who could love him back fully. I wasn't even sure I loved myself somedays._

_So, I had to let him go. I had to let him find his deserved happiness, and he would never find it if he stayed with me. And if I let him miss out on his happiness to be with me? I'd never forgive myself. So I told him that I didn't really like him. And to leave me the hell alone. He begged and pleaded with me, but I was firm. My God, I'm gonna miss him._

I didn't realize I was crying until I saw the wet spots on the page. But I cried alot nowadays. Especially when Connor's involved. It made me mad in a way that Jesus and Connor were still friends when Connor and I weren't together anymore, but I didn't have the right to dictate who Jesus was and wasn't friends with.

"Jude? Little dude, why are you in my room?" I hear Aislinn say.

"I just wanted to be alone."

"Oh. Well hey, Callie and I are redying my hair, then doing this pore cleansing thing I read about. Connor wants to talk to you, so I'm gonna send him up, okay?"

"Okay.."

I'm surprised Jesus hasn't pitched a fit about Aislinn dyeing her hair. He likes the white blond color better than the black. Not that I blame him, it doesn't make her look so dangerous. But Aislinn takes pride in looking scary, as screwed up as it is.

"Jude?" I hear Connor say quietly, as he sits down beside of me.

"..."

"Are you gonna ignore me now?"

"..."

"Ya know, if anyone should be ignoring anyone, I think I should be ignoring you. I mean, you are the one who wanted to break up."

"I didn't want to break up. But it's better if we aren't together."

He sighs, an exasperated look on his face, "Why?"

It's my turn to sigh now, and I open the notebook open to March 29th and hand it to him, before making my way out of the closet to sit on Aislinn's bed. "Read it."

It's a couple minutes later when he finally makes his way out, and crouches down infront of me, "This? This is not true. You make me so happy Jude. Take me back...?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Jude's POV:**

_"I... I uh... Okay."_ Is what I had stuttered out when Connor asked me to take him back. And I was so happy. I still was, being with Connor made my heart race.

Connor was my safe haven. The one person who I knew would love me unconditionally. When I needed to cry and break and scream, Connor let me. He'd let me say awful terrible things that I regret but never ever meant, and then when I was finished, hold me tight and kiss the pain away. Connor was mine and I was his. He was the one person in this world I knew would always be there. Accepting and loving me as I go, no matter what I did.

When I came out to the entire family, Stef and Lena had been accepting. Told me they were so happy that I could trust them with something like this. Aislinn had squealed and clapped, and twirled over, pulling Connor and me into a surprisingly tight hug, telling us she was so proud of us for being honest Brandon had clapped me on the back, telling me that no matter what I was still his little brother. Jesus had been happy that I came to terms with it and was able to day it aloud. Mariana had basically had the same reaction as Aislinn as they squealed and jumped up and down. Callie had given me a tight, fake smile, telling me it was just _fine with her. But that she wouldn't always be around to protect me_. Connor had held me while I cried that night, because Callie was supposed to be accepting. She should have been supportive, giving hugs and kisses on the forehead. But she didn't. She had grabbed Brandon's hand, dragged him to his room, and they argued alot that night.

Connor was there when my Dad got out of prison. When he tried everything he possibly could to get Callie and I out of Stef and Lena's care and into his. He held me at night when my father was at the house, drunk, screaming at Stef and Lena that _we were his damn kids! Not those faggots, and that he was going to get us back_. It went on for months like that. But exleast my dad's visits stopped Stef and Lena's fighting. That was a plus, I guess. Connor went with me to his funeral when he died after getting into a street fight. Held my hand, and stroked my back while I sobbed. Maybe I cried because I lost the one biological parent I had left. Or maybe I cried out of guilt because I wasn't even all that upset when I found out he died. (But then again, Callie had just blinked and went back to eating her toast, and I didn't see her there crying her heart out.)

But I was there for Connor when he needed to break,too. Because Connor couldn't always be the strong one, no matter how much he tried. Sometimes Connor needed to break down too. However, Connor was Connor and he was far to proud to discuss what upset him, unlike me who would just instantly spill his guts. I was there for Connor when all of his _friends _ from school had teased him mercilessly. And when his parents had freaked out and kicked him out for two weeks. But he still spent more time at my house than at his own.

Connor was my strength. He was what made me strong when people called me a _faggot, a freak, a devil lover, an abomination. _Because even though everyone else felt being gay was wrong, Connor made me know that everything everyone threw at us, was worth it. That he was worth it. Connor wasn't just my first love. He was the love of my life. We'd been together since I was fourteen, and he was fifteen. I'm eighteen and he's nineteen now. And I hoped one day we'd still be together in our eighties and nineties.

That was a nice dream. A dream I desperately clang to. Because Connor was _mine._ Connor was my strength, and my faith, and my hope, and my love. Connor was everything good in the world to me. He was who I danced with at Aislinn and Jesus's wedding, (and my god was that a dramatic event. We thought Stef and Lena's was stressful? Try having Lexi, who was still hung up on him, come back, kiss him, and make sure Aislinn saw it. Dear God, I didn't think we'd ever get those two back together. We did though of course. But it was a team effort that took sixteen weeks. And I never want to relive those awful, annoying, drama filled weeks.)

Connor and I were infinite. Maybe we wouldn't be together forever. But four years? It gave a boy with a whole lot of nothing a whole lot of something to hold on too. I liked to believe our love was timeless. And untouchable. We were faithful. We were happy. We were untouchable. We were forever. We were each others own definition of love. I guess you could say we were each others fairy tale.

* * *

**A/N: So... Maybe one last chapter? If I do it'll be an epilogue. Review?**


	12. Chapter 12

Jude's POV:

Connor was twenty three and I was twenty two when we got married. I had just finished college to be an english teacher and Connor was a very popular mechanic, and his business was growing and growing daily. It was comforting to know we'd be okay. Lena had gotten all the paper work done, and was able to marry us. Maybe she felt that she needed to do the same thing her father had done for her, for us. The vows we wrote ourselves, and I'll never forget them.

His were:_Jude... We've been through a hell of a lot together. We had people try to tear us down, call us names, try to split us apart. And there was a time or two when we thought they were going to win. But, if they had I wouldn't be standing here today in this monkey suit. You are stubborn, aggravating, and shockingly wild. I remember when I first met you. Shy, quiet, very timid and lost. What the hell happened? I'm kidding baby! I love you more and more each day. It's hard to believe we've been together since we were fourteen and fifteen. You're beautiful...or should I say handsome? Whatever, Beautifully handsome is good enough, a total mess, you stress out over the littlest things, and sometimes we fight over the littlest things. You're kind hearted, and giving, and impulsive, and the most amazing thing in the world. I'm not gonna lie and say you aren't a handful, because trust me, you are, but the thing is... You're my handful._

_And Mine: Connor! Well.. I liked you since the day I came to school and you had blue nail polish on. You have no idea what that meant to me back then. Out of everything in my life, you're the constant in it. I know that no matter what happens.. You'll always be there to hold me tight at the end of the night. You're brilliant, and enchanting in some way. I never thought I'd say this but, I'm glad Callie ran away... sorta. Because who knows if we would have been together if she hadn't? You're different, Connor and that's what I love about you. You don't just go with the crowd, you go with what you want. It's the biggest honor in the world to call you mine, and I don't think you understand how much I need you. How much I love you... How much you mean to me. You're everything to me. And I'm so excited to spend the rest of our lives together._

We were twenty four and twenty three when Aislinn and Jesus got married. Aislinn had finally grown out of the "I hate everyone" stage, and was a famous poet, writer, and dancer. Jesus had followed in Stef's foot steps and was a cop now. And, like Lena, Aislinn hated it. She constantly worried about whether or not he was gonna come home at night. But, she'd never ask him to give it up. They had a baby girl, Athena May, the third year of their marriage. She was a beautiful little thing, with Aislinn's soft white blonde hair, and a mix of Aislinn's pale complexion and Jesus's tan. She had a mix of her mother and father's eyes. Athena was a true heart breaker. Then, when Athena was three months, they adopted a sixteen month old little boy, Aidan.I swear, he looked just like the picture perfect mix of the two, with icy blue eyes, mocha skin that was the exact shade of Jesus's, and a medium brown hair color, meeting in the middle of black and blonde. And when Aidan was four and Athena was three baby Drew was born. He had his father's dark hair and soft brown eyes, and Katie's pale skin.

Aislinn and Jesus were married for fifty years. When Jesus was seventy five years old, he had passed away in his sleep. I had never seen anyone as depressed as Aislinn was. She cried so much, and I don't think I had ever seen the strong, invincible Aislinn shed a tear before then. It was hard, knowing their was absolutely nothing I could do for her. But three months later, Aislinn passed away in her sleep. Her kids were heartbroken of course, but I think they understood their mother was much happier up there with Jesus then down here with us.

Callie and Brandon had gotten married a year after Aislinn and Jesus. And as much as it hurts to say it... their life wasn't as happy. Even though those two deserved more happiness than most. Brandon really only married Callie because he got her pregnant, and as much as I hate to say it, I think he resented it. He could have been a very famous pianist, (and once they'd split, he was) but instead he had to get a job and support Oliver and Cal. Connor had gotten him a job at his repair shop, answering phone and scheduling appointments, because lets face it, Brandon didn't know a damn thing about cars. Callie worked part time as a waitress, and Lena normally watched him. But when she couldn't, Mariana, Aislinn, or I would step in. But when Ollie was four years old, Brandon left. In all honesty, I think it was for the best, because that way Oliver wouldn't have to grow up in a home full of hate. B and Cal had just drifted apart, and what was once an exciting, brilliant love that burned brighter than the sun, had begun to smolder. Eventually Callie got remarried, Wyatt surprisingly. And Brandon had married a nice girl he met from Aislinn, named Cat.

Cat and Brandon had three children, and Callie and Wyatt had two. Oliver had lived in between the two homes until he was eighteen, and I think he liked it that way. He told me he loved both his parents, step- parents, and half siblings to much to just be away from them more than what the judge had said to be. When Brandon was seventy years old, he passed away, he had a heart attack. Cat was really quiet strong through out the whole thing, and passed away one night in her sleep. She had had cancer, and chose not to do Chemo therapy. Wyatt and Callie had died at age sixty five, together, in their sleep. I don't know how that worked, really, but it had. I miss her, alot. But I know she's happy.. wherever she is.

And Mariana had never really settled down to be honest. She dated and dated until her mid to late forties, when she decided she didn't want nor need a man in her life. She and Lexi had surprisingly ended up together. They had passed away in a car crash when they were sixty two. But Mariana had adopted four kids, and as a very successful lawyer, they were sitting pretty. They had loved Mariana and Lexi so much, that when the two passed, I thought they would crack. But somehow, they survived.

Stef and Lena continued being foster parents, and they were together until their late sixties when Lena passed away in her sleep. We were all terrified Stef would turn to the bottle, but she told us that when she saw Mike deteriorate like he did, she never wanted to experience something like that. On Stef's eighty second birthday, we lost her. It was a comfort to know though, that she was with Lena, and they'd be happy forever.

Connor and I adopted our first out of five, when I was twenty seven and he was twenty eight. There was Scott, Lily, Toby, then the twins Anastasia and Daniel. We were foster parents as well, and I like to think it made our kids better people. Think about how to treat others, about how to love others. I hope it did anyways. Connor and I were happy together for fifty six years. Three weeks before our fifty seventh, he passed away. And even though I missed him terribly, I knew I'd see him soon. And I will, sooner than soon. I'm dying. leukemia. I refused the chemo therapy as Cat Valentine (Sorry, I couldn't resist) Foster had too. I'm writing mine and your grandfathers love story. And it begins like this..."I fell in love at fourteen. With the boy that painted his nails blue because I had. And the boy who had a magical smile. And the boy who made me feel whole again."

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**A/N:Well... This is it. *sobs quietly* I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be writing a new fanfic about these two, and it'll be posted soon. I think I might call it, "Reverse." I dunno yet. Basically "Jude's the older sibling, and Callie's the one he feels needs to be protected. So far, Jude hasn't screwed up with the Fosters yet... What happens when he kisses Connor at the wedding?" Give suggestions for the name?**


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